Introvert

            Being introvert is blessing💖, cause we notice how people react, behave and talk💬 to each other bring pain. These small little things we notice and want to go inward to check why we get emotions to they words so easily, what cause us to hurt ourselves when infect we only wanted to give love and get love in return. 
            When we couldn't fine save group of people who we can share our deep inner secret, feeling, desire and thoughts. We start to compare ourselves with others, feeling sorry for ourselves and wishing we were like them who are extrovert. 

But slowly when I start to ask many important question to myself I discover that being Introvert is a blessing in disguise how you ask lets see the question below that I ask myself.

1. What if I talk to someone new today be myself and honest as well?

I did that experiment you wouldn't believe the result I got just being honest to stranger about my bad points and good points. Turn out they appreciate my honesty and tell me am awesome and kind as well. -  I didn't hold on to their words as yet cause the moment they say those wonderful loving words another question comes up in my mind. 

2. What if tomz they are not in good mood would they still talk to me nicely and appreciate me?

I got answer to that question as well "Human moods are like weather" and I notice myself I get moody days and I act out when I am not in good mood what is different? They would definitely do the same so I better not whole on to their words but then again it got me thinking being honest made them like me why cant I like myself. 

So I started being honest with my feelings, writing down in my journal if not I speak to myself alone sometime talking to universe, stars, clouds, birds, ants too 😅 and I notice myself I started to feel more relax, calm at east I wasn't feeling low anymore what is happening I started feeling happy again Then I go check in media to see updates of my friends life, I notice my happy feeling poof disappear again ... I didn't notice it at first but after making the same mistake like being in a loophole/cycle repeating the same pattern again and again then I notice that checking my friends life was causing me to compare myself to them again I unfollow everyone deleted my Facebook account. 

     When inward again then slowly speaking to universe, heart, clouds, birds, plants and stars. I let go of all negative thoughts slowly speaking it all out I felt the heaviness in my shoulder disappear I felt light for the first time after years of carrying loads of junks of others and myself let it all out by speaking to myself alone or pretend I was talking to God and I felt joy, My mind started to work for me again being my best friend. I started to notice I was punishing myself for what other say to me and believe their words which wasn't even true at all. I started to love myself but didn't at first I wanted too also scared what if my mind play game with me again. 

      I remember all the books I got to read for self improvement I started to read those if get tired, I listen to Alan Watts, Thich Nhat Hanh, Friedrich Nietzsche, Lao Tzu, Dhandapani, Arthur Schopenhauer and Sister Shivani. I started add there words of information into my mind so that if I face the world and people I could use they words to live my life but Then it again had down fall going back to over thinking So I wanted to love myself I didn't know how I keep reading books Pure Bliss and Wild Love by Gill Edwards, 4 Agreements, Mastery of Self and Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz and research about mind control, frequency, water memories I was was on a mission to know how my mind works then I started with self-love meditation, sleep affirmation of self-love and Gratitude in the morning and slowly I keep adding task for myself to do and I love the way my mind works and how it has transform to be my best friend. 

So don't think that being introvert is bad but a blessing you can build self confident, self respect, accept yourself the way you are, Don't have to change yourself to fit in You are already amazing as you are. Work on yourself daily and Love your emotion giving unconditional love to your feelings and all your emotions will heal and you can learn how to protect yourself from other people words. 

Remember always you aren't here to make everyone happy but first and foremost learn to be happy the way you are and love your mind and then share your love with people around you who accept you as you are and dont take other people words personally it was never really about you in the first place.