Forgive Yourself

Parenting (Part 16)

Forgive Yourself

If we feel ashamed or guilty, it can block the channel to our higher self - so it is high-priority to clear shame and guilt from our emotional body by making amends, then let it go.

If you sit quietly, ask your inner child what it feels guilty about -  you might be amazed at how much emotional baggage you are carrying! 

Releasing shame and guilt is a four-stage process:

1. Become aware of what you feel guilty about, and let go of shame or guilt by reassuring your inner child that enjoying yourself, relaxing or being human are not reason to feel bad!

2. Forgive yourself for any harmful or hurtful behaviour. This mean realising that we are always doing the best we can. 

3. Make amends, if it is appropriate. Perhaps you need to talk about it with the other person, or apologize, or replace what you broke or forget to return, or what ever. Or if you've lost touch, or the person is dead, or it feels ridiculous to bring it up, you might imagine talking to them. Or choose some joyful way of making amends that feels right to you, such as making an anonymous donation to charity, or secretly paying for a stranger's lunch in a cafe. 

4. Let it go! It is in the past, so don't hang on to it any longer. There is a Buddhist story of two monks who come to a river. A woman is waiting on the riverbank, and ask the monks if they will kindly carry her across the river. One monk immediately does so - and they walk on. The other monk is astonished, since monks are not supposed to touch women and he is still thinking about it the next day, when he asks his friend how he could have done such a thing. The monk replies, "I put the women down at the far side of the river. You are still carrying her now". Guilt makes us cling to an event long after it should be dead and buried. Put it down!