Alone

Being alone made me love myself and see the truth of the surroundings, like seeing with fresh mindset also still feel trap cause of the cycle of life, but feel at peace and loved when am connected within but the moment I had to come out of inner connection the surroundings keep wanting to trap me. Then desire and wants creep back in and if let my mind go autopilot I realise that my surroundings is making me sad again. 😥 I want out mean I want to have deeper connection within 🧘‍♀️🧘🧘‍♂️more then connected with outside of me. 

If the outside is something that does control you demand from you in the end still feel being used and having no one then outcome of outside world makes my mindset confuse it becomes my enemy telling me to be bitter and not be like divine love. My nature has become of giving but if not charge my inner strength I lose hope within myself.